149 Wonder What is a Soul?
A question has always been bugging me. What is a soul?
I initially thought it was something humans 'imagined' or use as an 'excuse' to explain things convenient to them.
But now that I'm in another world, I'm second guessing that. If you can't explain what 'soul' mean to human, then what about to the beings human call 'gods'.
Generally, humans simply don't have answers to supernatural stuff like that. They're 'invisible', 'intangible', so you can't even observe them.
Which means there must be something this supernatural stuff is good for.
So now let's think in order since I got abducted to this world.
First is body. The past me kept moving around without any problem even though his soul left his body. I've confirmed it since I was there until it happened. So it seems your body can live on no problem even without a soul.
Then what is it anyway? I understand that it must be something mere humans cannot comprehend.
But it connects to being reset when you get purified and cleansed by the gods here.
In occultism, there are stories about humans who have their past life memories. Doesn't that happen because your soul from previous life gets recycled?
And perhaps some sort of stimuli make that memory resurface?
The me now is proof to that. I got reincarnated along with my previous life memories because I rejected god's blessing.
I don't know why a soul is important to make a man. I mean your body keeps living on even without one. No clue what does it affect humans.
However, the beings known as 'gods' need souls to create 'humans' as well as 'something else'. In fact, it would make sense if they're necessary to keep those gods existing.
There was an 'exchange' performed between the 'god from my past life' and 'the god of this world'. Their conversation that time was seared in my memory.
Soul, body and mind. I recall having played a game with this occult setting and got into it so much I read about all kinds of trivia and knowledge about the topic.
Mind is what links body to the soul, and soul is where everything is recorded. Or so was the setting, I think. Thus, my memory now must be the 'recording' up until my soul got separated from my body.
To begin with, scientifically speaking physical information is recorded in DNA, mind is electrical signals in your brain, and soul isn't even a thing, 'out of question'.
And yet that happened to me, and I can't even tell that to anybody.
In fact, disclosing that will only make people see me as an oddball. Both in that world and this world.
Nobody can understand or sympathize with my circumstances. Only those who undergo the same experience can.
After all there's no way to prove it. You can't make others experience what you go through.
As I don't think there will be anybody who can ever resonate with me in this world, I only wish to live without getting bound by anybody or obligations until the day I die.
Not that I've given up living, but to die while remaining as me.
'I am me', someone who rejected god's blessing, and I don't wish to live a 'new me' in this world.
That's why I don't want to get dragged into trouble or any kind of mess. I shouldn't have existed in this world to begin with, it's better if I don't stand out or be the core of anything.
But presently, the direction I'm going isn't heading that way.
My life at the village was a peaceful one, yet the instant I left and met Aryl, it was like I just kept rolling and smashing into mess without ever hitting the brake.
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～＝～＝ ～＝～＝ ～＝～＝
Everything is gonna be over once this ends right? That's all I wish for.
I face off against the chimera with that desire inwardly.
(Now then, what do~. Sure makes you wonder when you're actually seeing it up close, I mean look at the size of this thing.)
I'm not under acceleration right now. I did when I moved here from Reikana's seating area, but undid it to make an observation.
(I just can't bring myself to. Wonder why? And I was so eager to make this thing a test subject for a full power punch, but now that it's in front of me, all I feel is pity somehow.)
The chimera's rotund eyes look surprisingly pure to me, and its movement as it tried to crush me with its down swinging fore paw has no 'vigor' to it.
It feels lifeless. Leaving an impression of hesitation even though it could have moved so much more nimbly.
After various experiences of facing off against Randolf in commercial city as well as all kinds of thugs, I can now tell when my opponent is going 'all out'. I know when an attack is coming with the intention to harm.
Yet, for some reason, all I could sense is bewilderment and rejection on full display emanating from Chimera.
The faces Serena and the elves had when they were under subordination collars' influence and Chimera's overlapped in my mind. They're entirely different species and yet that's what it felt to me. That was when it hit me.
(Ohoho? ...This pattern, could it be?)
I entered 'Acceleration' as I dodged the next attack and observed the Chimera's full body. Looking for a certain 'thing'.
I couldn't find it and recalled the bracelet Goldeuro held high up before Chimera's entrance.
I muttered to myself 'this is how it's gonna be huh' as I headed for the conclusion.